Eleven

Every night her father sings to her. He rubs her back. This continues while she lives at home, even after most fathers stop touching their daughters. It is never uncomfortable for either. His voice is low and squeaky and he rubs her back over her bedshirt.

Little boy blue

Come blo-ow your horn

The sheeps in the meadow

The cows in the corn.

Where is the boy?

Who looks after the sheep

He's under the haystack

Fa-ast asleep

Then his own version they make up together one night when she starts taking piano lessons and loves to play.

Little girl pink

Come play your piano

The sheep's in the meadow

The cow's in the corn

Where is the girl

Who looks after the keys

She's in her bed

Fa-ast asleep

Then her father says, "I love you for eternity."

And she says, "I love you for eternity too."

He kisses her on the cheek and closes the door quietly. She is warm and still, trying hard to fall asleep. If she doesn't right away she will think of things that are black. And then think about how dark it must be inside something that is black, like a black purse. Her mind begins to wander and she usually falls asleep. If that trick fails, she will start counting backwards from 300. This isn't as creative an exercise, but it is almost foolproof. Morning comes quickly and she wakes to her alarm. It is cold many mornings, but she will always get out of bed.